Traveling is a coping mechanism. I understand people want to travel to Bali or Thailand, or somewhere they can tag wanderlust. I totally get that you have been planning your dream vacation for the past three months without booking a single ticket. So have I, that’s why I know how you pretend to by tickets and look at all the best hotel options,but for 2021. Today, I want to talk to you for a second, on why it calms your mind to scroll through online sites or plan your dream vacation to every little detail using Pinterest.
It’s a coping mechanism.
Hear me out, the act of traveling and finding your passion and purpose is exciting and so very real. The first solo trip I took was liberating. I planned everything myself and nothing bad happened. My anxieties were lifting out of my body. There was nothing that could have gone better on that trip to Dublin, Ireland. I stayed in an all girl hostel and made life long friends with other solo travelers. I researched these hostels for weeks my friends. I did not want to be stuck in a bad situation. I packed all the right clothes for rain, I went to trinity college library, and the Guinness museum. I hung out with Irish girls at a bar one night, where they explained traditions and drank way too much. I even got a full body wax in another country. I set up the appointment online and walked in one morning not knowing what to expect. It was one of the fastest, painless waxed I’ve ever had. I was on top of the world, I had complete control over my happiness. At the time, there was no reflection on what was lifting my anxieties, but I was so much lighter and fulfilled.
Like most mental illnesses, the anxiety slowly started creeping back in.
What do I do when this unwelcome feeling comes back? I start to plan my next trip. I plan possibly going for a hike, then the anxiety of getting hurt and being alone sets in and I don’t follow through. I plan a trip meet a friend in Kansas City, but then the anxiety of asking off work and correlating schedules with other employees gets too complicated. I don’t want to be “that” girl who always takes off. My once, vibrant traveler self becomes this stagnant, anxiety ridden, human being.
I can hide my anxieties very well in person. I’ve learned to do this in Highschool. Have a “happy go lucky attitude” but what I’m really saying to get over these anxieties? I say fuck it. I know that this may bite me later but I do. In order to be a functioning human being and avoid giving power to my anxieties I have to tell myself, Fuck it. There are a multitude of times this has saved me. When I got the opportunity to go to New Zealand, it was during a crucial time of my education. And rather then worry about what my teachers would say or do, I said Fuck it and booked it. Then when I went to ask my professors, they were all very understanding and accommodating. Did you read that right? Yes. When I asked my professors what I need to do because I will be out of the country for two weeks, they were accommodating. Poof. Anxieties lifted. Coping mechanism achieved to its fullest.
There is a problem with this coping mechanism for my fellow travelers. And I don’t dare say this to someone who is going through their journey and finding themselves through travel. I was once on that high, and the next trip I take I will be on that high again. But any seasoned traveler can tell you about the depression that comes from not being able to Travel. Insert excuse here. You don’t have the finances. you don’t have a car. you don’t have a job. you do have a job. you can’t get time off. your trying to get a promotion. You’re trying to get a house. You’re trying to have kids. You have 2.5 children. you have a dog. you have a cat. who will take care of your turtle? Any excuse you have told yourself why you can’t travel. I want you to leave it in this paragraph.
Because I so strongly correlate travel with mental health, I do not want those excuses to hold you back. I saw those eyes roll. “But how will I be able to travel with this job?” What is your motivation for keeping that job? I’m being dead serious, you have that job for a reason right? You love it, or you’re really good at it, or you make money for rent. There is a purpose and reason you have that job. I want you to embrace that reason. Let it soak in. And then I want you to take a breath in, unclench your jaw, and let that breath out. Go drink some water, put the coffee down. Have you accepted the reason for your excuse? Great, now let’s work with what you have.
You have a whole city you have not explored. You can try to tell me you live in a small town with 25 people and I will tell you, you still have not toured the whole town. I’m from Idaho, the whole state is a small town okay. And I struggled, I struggled looking for things to relieve the anxiety and depression. I took medication, I had close friends, I worked out, I tried to be apart of the community and I still struggled to find peace within myself.
Guys what I’m about to tell you, is the most important thing you can take from this article. It took me years to discover.
You are traveling everyday. You are traveling through the season of your life. And you can travel with whatever excuse you have. You have two kids? That’s great you are making new experiences with them everyday. You are taking that trip to the grocery store, that you planned and executed flawlessly. You are traveling with them to the zoo, and lengthening their perspective.
Have you met your neighbors? Do you know where they were born? Do you know where they grew up? What their fondest memory is? Let them take you on a trip to their life, and perspective. You don’t have to agree with them to listen to their past. Let them take you on that journey.
You just moved to a new town? Volunteer. It doesn’t even have to be with people, volunteer at an animal shelter, those dogs, cats, bunnies or horses will be so happy your paths crossed. That you traveled to their life.
You don’t have the finances? Or better yet you don’t have a car? Pick up a book. Let the author take you on a journey you have yet to see, or one that you’ve read once before but in a different season of your life. See how that journey effects you with a different perspective.
I know this isn’t the extravagant travel you are daydreaming about (daydreaming about traveling can be very therapeutic for me too) but this is a coping mechanism. This is a positive trigger that will remind you of what it felt like to get lost on the journey of travel. It was liberating right? It was inspiring, purposeful and your whole body felt lighter. This coping mechanism can be replicated. The next time you start to feel those post trip blues, or your reminiscing to how it once felt to explore the world, I challenge you to look for a new journey in your life in an unexpected place.
Stay strong wanderers.
-Rach
